Romance Novels

Dearest Friend(s),

I glow with happiness that you grace the earth with your presence. I crave your strong text to whisk me away. We'll elope to far off lands, where I get to be sexed up the princess, the lady, the heroine... Instead of the undergraduate student, the ungrateful daughter and the listless insomniac. You take me, as I love to be taken.

I feel the anticipation building, longing to run my fingers up your spine. I hold you close, clutching your sides, as I look at you--into you. Penetrating deeply, and grasping what is inside. At your climax I gasp for breath, breasts heaving I struggle to take it all in. Then the dénouement-- I lie quivering on the bed soaking it all in, just taking in your soft and comforting words.

You tell me what I want to hear and I love you for it.

Your decadence is comical to some, but my fluttering heart disagrees.

I want you-- every word, every inch. The thicker the better.

Yours, Truly

PS. this might have been one giant "that's what she said" joke... who knows.

Oh My Love

My Darling, I've hungered for your touch. A long lonely time... approximately exactly one year. How have you been?

There's been a lot of gossip about you lately. The usual things: you're not a real holiday, you're never good enough, you're just commercial, and you don't care about people's real feelings. I know they're just rumours. You've never tried to hide what you are--

A chocolate lover, a flower lover, a lover.

Haters Gonna Hate. But why hate on something that we all need?

You don't need to be dressed up, glittered and glammed over the tippy-top (as people seem to anticipate) to be beautiful. A simple word, or a hug, a call home to Mom and Pop-- those are the things that make you so worthwhile and wonderful to me. The humble appreciation for everyone we care about is an important thing that often isn't expressed enough. You give us that kick in the pants we need.

So thank you, Valentine's Day, for telling me what I want to hear.

I love and appreciate you too.

Yours, Truly.

________________________________________

Ps. I also just really love excuses to give out handmade cards, I'm bad-ass with a pair of safety scissors.

Ice Ice Baby

I see right though you. This little tough guy act.... you're trying to trip me up, trying to be cool (though you're just being cold). Let me tell you now: it's not going to work.

I don't like you now, in the bleak midwinter... You get too enthusiastic, if that makes sense. Frisky to the point of pain. I may be a bit masochistic but you've become too much for me. You want to play when I'm trying to get to important meetings, when I'm trying to climb stairs, when I have other things on my mind, and lemme tell you, it's getting old.

You lie in wait outside doors, creeping over the eaves of my childhood home. you point and laugh from rooftops everywhere I go... waiting for your moment. You backstabber. Your icicle fingers of malice tricked me in the summer months. You were so chill, so sexy, as you traced my body with your melting heart... You always made the best daiquiris...

Now you lie in wait disguising yourself as the ground, stalking me, but it's okay. I've always loved you better in the summer. You're somewhat of a fair-weather friend. I get that.

And I like you in small doses, so I await the days of sunshine and your creamy texture.

Vanilla please.

Yours, Truly.