Salutations!

This is my Blogproject. Sit down, stay awhile. Feed the fish, and read some art.
If you like what you see or have any questions or critiques, please let me know.
Yours, Truly.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Did you Hear??

Hello Earring!

You're shiny, let's play! I'll be me and you be a hula hoop. OW!--

--

Ear...

You hurt, I get it but please stop. It's just metal shoved right through your middle, not like your boyfriend dumped you over your potato salad at lunch and then had sex with your sister's ex best friend. Not like that at all.

Beauty is pain and I happen to believe you look lovely. Thank gosh you aren't one of those fat-ass ears... like that guy in front of us in Spanish. Whooowee his ears stick out like a sore thumb. Well, a sore ear.

I'll make you a deal: I'll stop sleeping on you if you stop spontaneously combusting, mmkay?

Yours, Truly.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

To My Skin

This is emotional for me. We are always together; you cover my back and I take care of you every day of our lives-- well I try. It'd be easier if you didn't have so many dirty secrets that you try to pass off as freckles to fool me. I swear to god there is a whole process to just getting through the day without you embarassing me.

But I digress; this letter is not about our problems. You have always been there for me, keeping all the important stuff inside so that people won't scream when they see me. And so I'll, you know, live. I don't hate you. You're not that bad (apart from that whole hatred of Sunshine you seem to have developed), in fact you are pretty damn gorgeous. I'd hit that (OW!).

We make a great team, I bring substance, personality, organs, sentience and shape and you bring translucent alabaster softness (put THAT in your romance novels!). I'm We're basically perfect! But I think we need to re-evaluate our relationship.

All my life you've been so damn clingy and the only people who wanted to hang out with you after I hit puberty were creepy boys. I don't know why Cotton is so much more popular, Skin, it's probably just because he's so "colourful" (*wiggles eyebrows*). But Sunshine is back and I think, I think it might be time to try again. You might even get some colour of your own.

Let me know what you think and if you're ready for some changes and maybe a new friend, I'll let you play in the moisturizer section of Shoppers Drug Mart.

Love/Hate forever,

Yours Truly.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

To "Jacob", if that's even your real name.

Hi there. We met when I participated in a psychology study on games. You almost ran into me coming out of the elevator on the wrong floor, remember?

I thought you were nice looking and that you were excited about our trip to Africa. I thought you liked me for me.

Imagine my chagrin (yes, I am smart enough to use the word "chagrin" without sounding pretentious, so deal.) when I was informed that you were A CONFEDERATE. A lab volunteer who spends his days playing OUR games with other girls, and guys too!

How could you do this to me Jacob? My sweet, sweet Jacob who I spent exactly one hour with, ever. who is not even a little bit like a werewolf, I trusted you!

Anyway, I basically wrote to say you're hot that you have wounded my poor little heart, and I wish for you to get a splinter of wood, haha! in the near future, and think inexplicably of me.

Yours, Truly


Ps. you can totally still call me though...

Friday, March 19, 2010

Dear Shoppers Drug Mart

I love you. I know that this may seem sudden but you make my life complete. You fill my days with beauty products and leisurely strolls along the Isles of Things.

When I see you my wallet literally jumps into my hands. My breathing becomes erratic, even if I'm feeling frugal with my attentions, there is always something tempting to find within your four walls. I wish-- I need to tell you, that I want us to stay together forever.

I will shop in other stores-- I have needs and you cannot meet them all. But you will always be my Shoppers. You give me medecine when I am sick and lipstick when I am down. You understand me and I love you.

Yours, Truly

PS. Are you hiring?