I think I saw you in a movie (Along Came Polly) and from the first moment I realized your existence, I hated it. I am all for living on the wild side a little, but I pay good money for the things I choose to put in my house and STABBING my upholstery will NOT get you in my good graces.
Somehow when they wrote that movie script (from experience no doubt) they made it seem justifiable and endearing... which is sooo far from the reality.
"Oh you're so uptight, have fun with me destroying your property instead of giving it away or just telling me to mind my own fucking business!!!!"
"I am soooo like totally justified in commenting on your lifestyle in the first place!"
"Can I keep this knife to stab myself in the throat with later? Thanks!"
Wow you don't like my furnishings? Well I don't like your shirt, how about I just rip it to shreds to teach you a lesson in good taste? Does that sound reasonable?
Whoever you are, wherever you are... All of you who watched that movie and thought "awww humourous and romantic!" Know now that if you ever pull that shit on anyone with half a spine, we "uptight" people will shank a bitch.
That is all.